


Medication

by whereyoustand



Category: The Ultimate Sidemen
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bipolar Disorder, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Medication, Running Away, harry lewis needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23512957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereyoustand/pseuds/whereyoustand
Summary: Harry suffers from bipolar disorder and has medication, it’s awkward when his friends find out
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	Medication

Harry looks at the empty bottle, how was he out of pills already? He had gotten them refilled not that long ago and yet here he was with a pit in his stomach. He was busy all day and had no time to get them refilled himself. He would ask one of his friends but he hadn’t told them yet. Harry threw the bottle to his bag and made his way to Simon and JJ’s house to film a video.

When there, Harry was rubbing at his neck anxiously, trying to not think about his pills. After he filmed the video with the sidemen, Ethan had asked Harry for his phone charger. Harry had nodded and pointed at his bag and Ethan started to go through it.

“Bog what are these?” Ethan pulled out the small white bottle that Harry was all too familiar with.

“I-” Harry stuttered as his friends stared at him. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s obviously something.” Josh’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

Harry snatched his bag and bottle from Ethan and held them against his chest as he edged away from them.

“We won’t be mad, what’s going on?” Tobi whispered.

Harry cracked. His eyes flooded with tears and he fell to the floor.

Vik quickly ran over to support his friend.

“They’re my pills.” Harry sobbed. “Sometimes I feel so shit I need to pop some stupid pills my doctor gave me.”

“So they were prescribed?” Simon asked. Harry nodded slowly.

“Yeah,” Harry replied, cheeks reddening with embarrassment.

“When did you start taking medication?” JJ asked quietly.

“Remember last summer?” It was a rhetorical question. They all remembered last summer. Harry had up and disappeared for an entire week, Freezy and Lux had walked into Harry’s room to see half of Harry’s clothes gone from his wardrobe, his wallet was gone of his tableside with his phone and phone charger.

The roommates called up the Sidemen who were just as perplexed by their friend’s sudden disappearance. It had been Josh who called Harry’s parents about whether Harry had gone home or not.

They were all surprised when Harry’s mum was relaxed about the situation.

“He’s not here. Just give him time. He’ll be back within a week.” She had explained. “I’m surprised he went this long without it happening. He did it all the time when he was a teenager, he just-” She sighed. “Goes.”

Harry was different when he had gotten back and the atmosphere was tense. He had greeted them with a big smile and had acted as nothing had happened. Simon was not buying it and stood up slapped Harry round the face, and Harry just took it. He looked at his group of friends and sighed.

“Anyone else? Or am I going to explain myself?” Harry had asked sarcastically. The group of friends stayed silent as Harry began rambling. “Sometimes, I need to feel alive. I do stupid shit so I feel alive because if I don’t I’ll kill myself! You guys don’t understand and you never will so instead of being pricks about it, why don’t we just make this fucking video and I’ll leave you alone!”

“Harry, can’t you see that we don’t want that?” Vik exclaimed. “We were worried shitless!”

Harry breathed out heavily. “I want to feel alive.”

“We know but that doesn’t mean you have to fuck off without a word. Just tell us next time!” JJ said, and Harry scoffed.

It was the scariest summer for them, Harry left three more times within the next two months. Without a word, every time. And every time he came back his friends saw it in his eyes that something had happened, but they knew better than to ask.

“Yes we remember last summer, so what’s this about?” Tobi sighed.

“I saw a therapist and he said that I was bipolar. I got prescribed Quetiapine. Which is a drug that helps when I have a depressive episode.” Harry whispered. 

“What’s bipolar disorder?” Ethan asked.

“Basically, I get really bad episodes and mood swings. Sometimes, things are too much and I need to get it out of my system. Sometimes that means I leave or I do something stupid.” Harry shrugged.

“How can we help?” Tobi asked.

“I don’t know. The more you try to stop my mood swings, the more likely I am to go fucking mental.” Harry chuckled awkwardly. “Sometimes, I get really bad depressive episodes or I go super hyper. These episodes happen every so often. Just gotta ride them out.” 

“What about your pills, they’re empty?” Vik asked.

“It’s not a big deal. I need a refill but I don’t have the time." Harry smiled thinly.

"We can pause on filming.” Harry sighed at Josh’s kind words.

“No, we can’t. I need to edit as well. It’s fine, I’ll wait until tomorrow.” Harry shrugged.

Josh shook his head. “No, one of us will take over your editing until you come back.”

Harry bit his lip as he debated in his head.

“Fine.” Harry sighed. “I’ll be back soon.”

The men nodded as Harry left the flat. As he left, Harry realised how grateful for his friends, all they did was support him and he couldn’t ask for anyone better. Harry loved them all, he just didn’t know how to handle it sometimes. His friends wouldn’t fully understand it but they would learn, Harry was their best friend, they loved him too much to not know something.


End file.
